~*Kara Suu Kyzy*~

We have a new girl in class, her name is Aijamal. She came from one of the villages in Kara-Buura in February, with her mother, and they live with an aunt in a flat with eight people. She doesn't talk. The teacher said "be kind", and then said it again. We didn't need to be told.

Today at the break I gave her half of my bun. She looked at it like it was a present. I felt stupid for having half a bun. Tomorrow I'll bring a whole one.

We had a trial for the Synak (not the real one). Three hours. It was like an exam in a dream: I knew everything but my hand was too slow. In the maths part I wrote one answer and then looked at the clock and it was 40 minutes later.

Result: 74 points from 100. Mama said "good". I said "it's a lie, the real one will be harder". Mama said "you can't please everyone". I said that is exactly what a test does.

On TV they said today is the day. Asel's father drives a car for a contractor at the base, he said at supper "they told us the base stays", and he repeated it three times, so we all knew he wasn't sure. Asel brought me a chocolate with an English wrapper "for the memory".

I don't have an opinion. I have Kara Suu on in the corridor and I'm drawing little stars on my hand.

Today it is two years since Kara Suu came out. I listened to it all the way through in the dark, with headphones, like they say you should. Track 6 made me cry again. I don't know why. It is only a hum and a voice far away.

Jyldyz says I am weird. I say I am deep. ★

The last year of school!!! The big one. New teacher for literature, young, with glasses, who said on the first lesson "forget everything you think you know about Akyrky Ashuu". I think I love her.

Asel is already sad because everything is "the last". The last bell, the last autumn, the last dictation. I told her to calm down, it's only September.

first day bouquets, they always are the same: asters and gladioli, wrapped in newspaper.